Support for adopted adults
Support for adopted adults
Below we have brought together a list of resources for adopted people. This is by no means a definitive list but a good place to start.
Websites
This research offers an in-depth look at the history of Mother and Baby Homes in England. Also includes a significant list of resources including books, journal articles, films, television, plays and website links to useful organisations.
Adoption England strives to support and strengthen adoption practice and services across the country. Includes the latest on improving adoption services for adults. Also includes a significant list of useful services for adopted people with links.
A group of UK adoptees, challenging attitudes to historic adoptions, striving to change the narrative on adoption. This includes an extensive resource list for adopted people with links.
How To Be Adopted was the first UK resource for adoptees by adoptees and has a wealth of information, articles and support groups.
Podcasts
Thriving Adoptees - Let’s Thrive
Thriving Adoptees helps adoptees thrive. What does thriving mean to you? Healing? Post Traumatic Growth? Evolving? Listen in as we explore what’s helped adoptees do all that.
Two adult adoptees, Sarah Reinhard and Louise Browne, delve into all thing’s adoption - from their perspectives as adult adoptees.
This You Can Adopt podcast episode explores the journey of being an adopted adult, from adoption through to life now. Joy Carter, comedienne, writer and poet hosts the episode, speaking with fellow adoptees Dawn and Fran.
Adoptees On
The podcast where adoptees discuss the adoption experience
Have you ever felt guilty while wondering, ‘where do I come from’? Have you found your biological family only to feel ‘I don’t fit here, I don’t fit in my adoptive family, I must not fit anywhere’? Have you dreamed of reunion and had the door slammed in your face? Have you ever juggled relationships with your adoptive family and your first family and felt like the rope in a vicious tug-of-war game? Have you struggled with loneliness, depression, mental illness, suicidal ideation, or addiction?
You are not alone.
Video & Media
Adult Adoptee Movement suggested viewing list (YouTube)
This list of media resources brings together a selection of videos and podcasts created by or featuring adult adoptees.
PAC-UK Conference 'Voices of adopted people: Messages for change” (YouTube)
A YouTube recording where adopted adults speak about their experiences of relinquishment trauma & complex PTSD.
Documentaries
Long Lost Family: The Mother & Baby Home Scandal (ITV)
A two part special that special shares the stories of women who, as unmarried teenagers, were sent to England’s Mother & Baby Homes, and who now search for the children taken for adoption.
Ellie Simmonds: Finding My Secret Family (ITV)
BAFTA-winning documentary featuring gold medal-winning Paralympian swimmer, Ellie Simmonds. Having lived with a huge secret, Ellie sets out to find her birth mother.
Reports
The Violation of Family Life: Adoption of Children of Unmarried Women 1949–1976 (parliament.uk)
A report on the Inquiry into forced adoption practices undertaken by the Joint Committee on Human Rights
Books
Core issues and healing
The Primal Wound: Understanding The Adopted Child by Nancy Verrier
This widely regarded book explores the deep psychological separation trauma (primal wound) that can result when a child is separated from their birth mother, with profound insights for adoptees and others in the adoption community.
Coming Home to Self: Healing the Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
A follow up to the above, this book looks at ways of healing the primal wound, written with adopted adults in mind and relevant to all involved in adoption.
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David M. Brodzinsky
One of the first books to explore the lifelong impact of being adopted, it helps normalize the common questions and feelings many adoptees experience.
Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton
The author explores the inner world of the adopted person and traces the lifelong struggle to form an authentic sense of self, highlighting the importance of the search for roots.
The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small
This book addresses the unaddressed trauma and issues of identity and belonging many adoptees struggle with, providing guidance on moving toward healing and empowerment.
Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make by Sherrie Eldridge
Drawing on personal experiences and interviews, this book outlines 20 choices to help adoptees discover their unique life purpose and worth, addressing issues like guilt, anger, and search/reunion dilemmas.
Memoirs and Personal Stories
All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir by Nicole Chung
A personal account of the author's search for her birth parents and understanding her own identity as a transracial adoptee.
In Their Own Voices: Transracial Adoptees Tell Their Stories
This resource includes interviews with 12 transracial adoptees, offering diverse perspectives on their experiences.
Black Anthology: Adult Adoptees Claim Their Space
A collection of writings from Black adult adoptees, providing a space for their voices and experiences.
You Don't Look Adopted by Anne Heffron
A memoir that uses humour and honesty to explore the experience of being an adoptee and the common (often insensitive) comments received.
Akin to the Truth: A Memoir of Adoption and Identity by Paige Adams-Geller
A memoir exploring the themes of adoption and identity through the author's personal journey.
Recent Non-Fiction and Memoirs by Adoptees (Published 2020-Present)
"You Should Be Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker (2021)
This book, which grew from a popular essay, collects stories and reflections on the complex dynamics of race, identity, and the often-problematic phrase "you should be grateful" that many transracial adoptees hear.
What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee's Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices by Melissa Guida-Richards (2021)
A vital guide written by a transracial and transnational adoptee, offering practical tools and an essential perspective on navigating the complexities of transracial adoption, addressing white saviourism, and nurturing a child's identity. A companion workbook was also published.
I Would Meet You Anywhere: A Memoir by Susan Kiyo Ito (2023)
A compelling memoir that delves into the author's search for her Japanese birth family and explores themes of belonging, family secrets, and the enduring impact of adoption across different cultures.
The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be: A Speculative Memoir of Transracial Adoption by Shannon Gibney (2023)
This unique memoir uses a "speculative" approach to explore the author's identity as a transracial adoptee, intertwining personal narrative with historical and social context to examine the experience of living between cultures.
Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies by Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Lori Holden (2023)
Co-authored by members of the adoption triad (including an adoptee), this book provides a raw and honest look at the realities of adoption, using lived experiences and attachment science to guide readers through complex emotions and challenges.
Hole in My Heart: Love and Loss in the Fault Lines of Adoption by Lorraine Dusky (2023 edition)
Written by a journalist and pioneer in the adoption reform movement, this memoir uses investigative skills to explore the social history and long-term consequences of forced family separation from the pre-Roe v. Wade era.
Whatever Next?: On Adult Adoptee Identities by Josephine Jay, Adaline Bara, and Hannah Feben-Smith (2022)
This book, part of the "Inklings" series, offers diverse perspectives on the challenges and nuances of adult adoptee identities.
Monstrous: A Transracial Adoption Story by Sarah Myer (2022)
A graphic novel memoir that uses powerful visuals and narrative to explore the author's experience as a transracial adoptee.
Somewhere Sisters: A Story of Adoption, Identity, and the Meaning of Family by Erika Hayasaki (2022)
This non-fiction work by a journalist tells the true story of identical twins born in Vietnam and raised separately on opposite sides of the world, highlighting issues of identity, culture, and family.